No one really knows what it's made up of anyway! Some sort of coagulated pork goo. Oh, unwanted EMAIL, that's what I was supposed to be thinking about…
Just don't consume it, or it will consume your time… Just delete it!
Why are you reading this? Oh.. Never, NEVER ask WHY… It'll get you no where.
How BIG? Trash it.
Picture of who? Trash it.
Do what? Trash it.
I don't know anyone from Nigeria, why am I getting an email from this person? TRASH IT!
How many people do you know from Nigeria that you trust, anyway!? I'm a very rich handsome Irishman who owns my own Electrical Engineering firm with frequent business in Nigeria? Wanna get married next week? I just need your bank account number, that's all.
All email coming in or out of Nigeria should be BLOCKED! Then BURNED! And Stomped on!
Online dating; don't go there either (see FRAUD above).
Don't go there.
Picture 10 Chemical Engineering students gathered around a computer in a public lab making "gah gah noises" with several females in the room in earshot. On a real job it would be immediate grounds for dismissal for sexual harassment with NO warning! Pack your bags dude!
FYI - Child Porn is illegal in Texas and MOST states, for the time being…
There was a dude in the library once who was doing "research". Right. Sure. Whatever. Can't confront them due to open access and privacy issues… Think about that next time you drop off your 10 year old at the library so they can baby sit him for you, and this guy is hanging about.
Don't drop your kids off at the library. Don't do it. Librarians generally don't make good sitters.
Some worms and viruses make emails look like they came from someone else it picked up in your address book, spoofing who the sender was.
Got an annoying coworker? Check out AnnoyingCoworker.com But DON'T actually do it!
Ever look at the headers in an email?
I want to forward emails and make them look like they came from the originator! I want to forward email so it looks like it came from me! I want to forward every political cartoon and WMV and MP3 that I get, so that it piles up on someone's server where it will never get read or deleted.
Viruses and Worms
Oh! I got a private email on my job-related email from my best friend who I thought was sending me pictures of her beautiful babies. The email had a link and BINGO I got a virus, what should I do?? Caution! Use your Susie Cheerleader imagination voice when reading this in your head--you're going to offend someone, if you actually say it out loud. You wouldn't be Politically correct and all-inclusive and all-accepting of all possible kinds of weird and helpless people you come in contact with.
Why do I get all these pop-ups! Stop surfing the Internet!
Forced Withdrawal, Recanting, Oopses
My boss didn't like the way I said something, so he told me to retract and resent the email with HIS wording… Why didn't he just send out the stinking email in the first place?!
My boss told me that my emails had a certain religious overtones to them, he told me to retract and RECANT. Dork! Now I'm an angry white Christian man who wishes it were proper to cuss like a SAILOR at people like him!
Oops, I sent my SSN number to a student worker, because my boss forwarded to me via IM (that's Instant Messenger for you non-Geek Speak speakers) that he had previously sent to me to me notifying me that it was in my "personnal" folder on the file server that supposedly no one else could read that was sent to me by the company via electronic format so they could save money on postage so they could protect me from personal informaton theft from my locked mailbox at the end of the street when I walk home dropping half of the junk mail and catalogs that I never read! Whew. What was I saying? Oh. Ooops… I should have read and edited for personal information in that email before I sent that out.
All I ask is that you keep in mind ... email is not instant messaging.
Cell Phones and your sTync'ing email:
I hate it when I hear: "I have a new cell phone. Here! Sync it with my email and calendar."
My new HTC Verizon 4G phone isn't working, fix it. I'm thinking, "Call your vender, you jerk!"
I just want to turn and run away when this happens. All cell phones are not alike, and IT guys usually don't have a say in what you buy. I just want to hand it back, and say, "Hey! You bought it! YOU figure it out!"
Don't give out port #'s for IMAP for the DROID. Well! If you can't trust R2D2, who can you trust?