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Anonymous_User Absent Member.
Absent Member.
2253 views

The Human Virus

I discovered over the weekend that I'm dying of the Human Virus. I
apparently contracted it at birth. They seem to think that on average
males live to be about 70 with the virus. Females a bit longer.

It has no real side effects, but is very contagious. Very easily spread
through exploration of carnal knowledge. Some people deliberately
spread the virus knowing it will only result in the death of their
offspring.

It's also commonly referred to as the human condition. Scientist seem
to think that everybody in the world has it. The only cure that people
are aware of is another virus. Commonly referred to as the vampire
virus. Unfortunately that virus has been extinct since the age of reason.

For those of you who think you might have contracted it please know that
you are not alone. Millions of people around the world share your plight.
Labels (1)
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17 Replies
jcalderwood Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

On 5/26/09 1:40 PM, Matthew wrote:
> I discovered over the weekend that I'm dying of the Human Virus. I
> apparently contracted it at birth. They seem to think that on average
> males live to be about 70 with the virus. Females a bit longer.
>
> It has no real side effects, but is very contagious. Very easily spread
> through exploration of carnal knowledge. Some people deliberately spread
> the virus knowing it will only result in the death of their offspring.
>
> It's also commonly referred to as the human condition. Scientist seem to
> think that everybody in the world has it. The only cure that people are
> aware of is another virus. Commonly referred to as the vampire virus.
> Unfortunately that virus has been extinct since the age of reason.
>
> For those of you who think you might have contracted it please know that
> you are not alone. Millions of people around the world share your plight.


Now since I was born a cold, heartless sob does that mean i am immune?
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Anonymous_User Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus


So *that's* why I've felt so out of it lately!
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Anonymous_User Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

Poor mortals


"Matthew" <systemRemovEtyrant@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:6QVSl.2835$rb5.1469@kovat.provo.novell.com...
>I discovered over the weekend that I'm dying of the Human Virus. I
>apparently contracted it at birth. They seem to think that on average
>males live to be about 70 with the virus. Females a bit longer.
>
> It has no real side effects, but is very contagious. Very easily spread
> through exploration of carnal knowledge. Some people deliberately spread
> the virus knowing it will only result in the death of their offspring.
>
> It's also commonly referred to as the human condition. Scientist seem to
> think that everybody in the world has it. The only cure that people are
> aware of is another virus. Commonly referred to as the vampire virus.
> Unfortunately that virus has been extinct since the age of reason.
>
> For those of you who think you might have contracted it please know that
> you are not alone. Millions of people around the world share your plight.



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farrowtj Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

But if you are dying from the causes of this or any other virus, I'm sure that the law offices of Roni L Doich or some other attorney would be willing to take your case!

;););)
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Anonymous_User Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

farrowtj blathered something to the effect:

> But if you are dying from the causes of this or any other virus, I'm
> sure that the law offices of Roni L Doich or some other attorney would
> be willing to take your case!


I'm not sure who I'd even bring a case against. My parents maybe for
giving me this 'affliction'? <G>
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Anonymous_User Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

I would sue the courts, all the governments (existing and past), all
religions and non religions, your parents and your parents parents, the
grass, but no the dirt, and most importantly... yourself. After all,
once discovered, you, or someone like you, kept right on spreading it
around.

On the plus side when you die the virus dies with you. No chance of it
leaking into the ground water and poisoning anybody else. 😛
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Anonymous_User Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

I'm a frayed knot.
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Anonymous_User Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

No. You've felt out of it because you where out of it. What 'it' is I
don't know, but I'm fairly certain that you are out of it.
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Anonymous_User Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

She does tax lawsuits. For pennies on the dollar.
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Anonymous_User Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

I'm a vaaaammmmppppiiirrrreeee!!!
0 Likes
jcalderwood Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

On 5/26/09 4:03 PM, Matthew wrote:
> I'm a vaaaammmmppppiiirrrreeee!!!


Reminds me of that good Manson song...
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Anonymous_User Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

Come from an episode of cops. (I watch to much tv.)
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jcalderwood Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

On 5/26/09 4:05 PM, Matthew wrote:
> Come from an episode of cops. (I watch to much tv.)


I was *not* on cops
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Anonymous_User Absent Member.
Absent Member.

Re: The Human Virus

Matthew blathered something to the effect:

> once discovered, you, or someone like you, kept right on
> spreading it around.


I have not spread it around. I try, but most female subjects are very
cautious and not willing to risk infection.
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